more thoughts around midnight

Not feeling very creative tonight hence the title. It seems at or around midnight I have a need to sort out my thoughts. It helps me to talk or write things in order to make sense of conflicting and puzzling things swirling around in my head and since there is no one here or is willing to talk to me I come here.

Sigh....  I just truly don't understand people sometimes, especially the ones closest to you that you love. I don't understand how people can have such a bad attitude sometimes or seemingly look for things to be angry or upset about. As soon as I walk in all I get is negativity and criticism. There is no hello, how are you?, how was your day, and so forth. It is so simple really, and easy to do, a common courtesy.

I baby sat tonight. The lady was kind enough to give me a ride home. I didn't want to come home because I knew it would be like this.   I had hoped things would be different becuase we have not seen each other in a long time. Sure enough I was right. 

The sitituation is out of my hands now. There is nothing I can do but pray and give it to the LORD.  Which I am doing.

Even so I could use a  hug and a grand white chocolate mocha right now.  But alas it is well past midnight now and I probably ought to go to bed now.

Some thoughts at Midnight

I am tired tonight, and no wonder it is nearly midnight. I really just want to go to bed right now, my eyes are droopy, and I am a little bit chilly. But nonetheless I am awake and just somehow I feel compelled to write.

Thing have been difficult, really difficult lately. Things are at a point where I don't know what else to do. It seems all areas of my life there is something. I long for the peace and calmness and being of one accord with my husband.  All I can do is pray and ask the LORD to sustain me through this rough time. I know he is and will be that to me.  It does say in Psalms the LORD is near to the downtrodden and brokenhearted. I need HIM so much.

Now I am very sleepy and just want to lie down and sleep. Perhaps I will be able to rest tonight.

ugh

Ugh, that's how I feel. It's a ugh sort of day.

Husbands out there sit up and take notice and be a little bit more appreciative of your wives and the work they do.  They are not a slave or a maid or even an employee to be treated harshly and ordered about. It is not for men to enforce submission and lord over, keep them in their place. That is not biblical. The bible does say that the wife is to willing submit herself to the husband "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

Also  just because they don't earn money does not mean they do not have any worth or value. I sometimes feel this way though comments made to me or through actions. They should be even more of worth because they don't recieve money for what they do and often work much longer.  I work hard anyone who knows me knows that.

There's my rant and rave of the day..

 I am sorry I've been away for awhile and not updated my blog. I've been terribly sick and am just now finally getting my  energy back.

And now I  don't feel like writing any more.

I've been busy....

I've been busy this week... almost too much so. I'll tell you why. I found out last Saturday that there was going to be a craft fair near our house and that they were looking for vendors to sell things. My husband encouraged me to do this craft fair.  It sounded like a good idea and I wanted to see if it was worth it. The craft fair was in 3 weeks. So I went from having no inventory to needing a whole inventory.  Usually this takes like 6 months to prepare for. So all this week I've been sewing feverishly.  But today I decided I would not have enough inventory along with trying to keep up with housework, laundry and other things. So I decided not to do the craft fair. So what I did magage to make I've put up on www.etsy.com/shop/kindlscorner. Please check it out and if you feel lead to, make a purschase. I've also posted some pictures below. I'm getting better at taking pictures for my business.  (the photo in the photgraph is actually my great grandparents and my grandfather is the little boy standing on the right)

 This one I did a little cross stitching on the front of it. This reminds me of going on a picnic in the countryside

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 This one I like because of it's simple elegance. I used cotton swiss dot fabric and added some pearls around the neckline.

This one is my favorite baby dress. It remind me of  blue china tea cups.

I like the colors on this one. Very Spring and Easter like.

I made 14 of these little bags. That are appox 4x4 inches.



incomplete and complete

 I have started a new quilt. It is unfinished but I am really likeing how it is turning out. It is so bright and cheerful. No two fabrics are alike in this one.  It's going to be hard to give this one up.

And here is a baby dress that I completed and is up for sale on  etsy. Here's the link: http://www.etsy.com/shop/kindlscorner 

Tonight is girls night out. Perfect because my husband has meeting late tonight. Looking forward to dinner and a move.

Forgotten Memories of Russia

My feet, especially my right heel is hurting me something awful and both ankles are slightly swollen. I don't know what's wrong with them. Thinking I might be calling the doctor soon. I usually wake up in the morning barely able to walk, can't imagine how I make it down the stairs to the kitchen. By mid morning the pain subsides somewhat and is at least bearable.  Foot pain  is not exactly what I wanted to write about.

On Sunday I checked out a Christian fiction book from our Church's library called The Midwife of Saint Petersburg ( it takes place during the times of the Bolshevik Revolution).  Having been to Russia twice before  on missions trips the book caught my attention immediately. I finished the book in two days. The book was OK, pretty typical  for its genre. Though I think the author did a fairly good job describing the turbulent and dangerous times in pre world war I Russia.

Reading the book got me to thinking about my time in Russia-Vyborg and St. Petersburg and the surrounding areas visiting orphanages, group homes, summer camps and community centers, Christian centers. So much had happened during those two trips that would affect the rest of my life forever. Though these two trips God revealed his plans for me. I went in 2003, first in the winter then again that same summer. It seems so far away now but yet memories are crowding back becoming clearer and clearer. Some were happy memories and some were sad.

The first trip was exciting and new, experiencing a Russian winter for the first time. It was amazing how we got that huge tour bus through tiny snow covered back roads and countryside to visit various orphanages.  It was overwhelming at times  all the need that I  saw around me.  There was work to be done in this country. Our schedule was busy often visiting several sites in one day but yet this wonderfully beautiful place called Russia felt like home. I felt an over whelming sense of belonging, I was in the right place at the right time. I always felt for some reason more at home in other countries than in my own, the USA. Before I knew I knew and fully understood it, this is when the Lord will have me do his work- among the poor and orphans. The Lord revealed a greater sense of his plan for not only me but this plan for the people he calls unto himself. I had only to step out in faith and obedience.  It might not be Russia that I am destined to go but go I will wherever it might be.

It's funny how God works sometime, truly. He can use anything or anybody to reveal to people what he wants them to do. Even a game of field hockey.  During my  second trip I remember  visiting one particular site (I believe it was some sort of community center) we had some outdoor games, Olympic style, to play with the kids. One of the games was a a game of field hockey. For some reason or another not many of the Americans joined in-only 2 or 3 out of 25 or so. But I did. I don't know what possessed me to do so  since I absolutely hate running of any sort, and field hockey is just that, a lot of running.   I wasn't much of  a help to the team but here I was in a ankle length khaki skirt running around in most dry and dusty field I have ever seen. I was so hot and sweaty and dirty and laughing by the time the game was finished but I couldn't be any happier. I even had a small cut on my leg where I fell in the course of the game.  The  blood stain never came out of my skirt and I eventually had to throw the skirt away. Though looking back I should have kept a piece of  it to  serve as  remembrance of  that day where I knew that the Lord's will and my head and heart were all in  the same place.

Eventually those two trips would on and lead me to Moody Bible Institute to continue my education and  to prepare for a life of ministry. I know it won't pay much and I won't have much but by all means that is OK with me.  God will provide. Perhaps that is why I never been interested much in  money or  "making it big" as they say or advancing my career. I am a fairly simple person.

Happenings of the week

I know it has been a few days since I last updated. For awhile there I did not have access to a computer ( the old lap top battery stopped working). Now things are up and running.

I finally mailed the quilt I made for my mom and day for their anniversary. I feel really bad about mailing it so late. I hate to fix something on it and it took longer than expected.

After the post office I visited the Evergreen Park Farmer's Market. My friend Angela has a booth there, and she makes/sells the most delicious homemade turtles. Earlier in the week I helped her make some turtles. It was fun learning how to make the caramel which in my opinion is the best part. It was also good for me because  it gave me some ideas about my own business. I think I really need to vamp up and do some better advertising and getting the word out there. It seemed  like it was a very long day. I had walked a lot. By the time I got home I felt so drained and weak that I had to lie down and take a nap. I didn't sleep for long because the phone rang. Oh well.


On Tuesdays I've joined the women's bible study at church. They are doing a study called Anointed, Transformed and Redeemed on the life of David. It includes author such as Pricilla Sherer (Tony Evan's daughter), Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur. It is another video series however I like it this time because because we are given ample time for discussion and prayer. I am amazed at all the wonderful women in the bible study. This is only the second week and I am already and learning lots, feeling inspired and encouraged. Paula, the Pastor's wife does a fantastic  job facilitating it and I can tell she puts a lot of effort into preparing for it.

I have been keeping busy with doing a lot of housework lately as well as some sewing. I've started on a quilt for my cousin's wife in New Mexico. I am really excited about how this one is going to turn out. The fabric is fantastic. I listed a  picture below of one of the 15 inch blocks I am using. This pattern is called New Mexico. I am alternating it with another pattern called Bambury Cross (but I modified it a little bit). I'll post the pictures of that bambury cross when I finish it.

I gotta trim the edges on this one. But I am  really likeing the pattern and the fabric.

A closeup of the fabric- excuse the little fabric threads everywhere.

Truth of the matter

I am feeling accomplished. I mowed the yard- front and back. Then I swept the house and mopped  the entire first floor and now it's time to clean the bathrooms. A nice and tidy house makes the husband happy and makes for a more pleasant weekend.  Even so I usually end up doing something the wrong way or it's not clean enough or decorated/arranged the right way. It makes me fustrated sometimes. But it can't be helped. That's the way things are. I have to keep telling myself I am working for the Lord and not man. And I know for a fact that I did a good job and that the Lord is pleased. But still it makes it hard when I hear negative comments.  The house is never a complete disaster. And at times I feel like I failed as a housewife.  Just trying to work out a balance between things. Somedays are better than others.

Our House

Our Impatients are still looking healthy even though the weather has turned colder.

Our Marigolds and lemon yellow snap dragons have taken off like crazy this year.

Our roses we planted on Mother's day in honor of our mothers are still blooming.

Close up of lemon yellow snapgragons.

Another thing... since when did not telling the truth become easier than telling the truth? It is disheartening how a lot of people these days are so quick to to make up something instead of giving a straighforward honest answer. The lines are being so blurred. Truth is always better than non truth. Be responsible for your own actions and what you say own them and above all let us be a people of truth. After all as Christians we are people of the TRUTH so act like it.

computer fixed and new items

I finally got the computer fixed, the battery was dead and now I have the computer up and running after a few days absence.  In the mean time I've made several new items. All of which I have posted on facebook (View and like Kindl's Corner ) and some are for sale on etsy.com (my shop is called Kindl's Corner). I had some thoughts I would like to share too but it is getting late and I am tired . I will update again soon.  Enjoy the pictures.

 This  baby dress is up for sale. Contact me if you are interested.

This is a cute little baby quilt I made for a couple and their son at church. I am really proud how this one turned out. I hand quilted all 16 squares. It took awhile but well worth it.  The next picture is a closeup of the quilting.

 This pink baby quilt is quite coloful and it also up for sale.



Reflections on a Thursday

Thursday can be the most perfectly ho hum kind of day. It's not the middle of the week and it is certainly not the weekend or the beginning of the week. And this morning something has been bothering me for quite some time.

I have never been taken quite seriously. Perhaps it is because of my soft spoken personality or perhaps stem from a lack of confidence. Or maybe its because people have just become entirely too inpatient these days. They only want the information they want and right away, to the point. They move on once they have information. This my friends I do not like.

Lately, I've been thinking about 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 which goes as follows:

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. " (NASB)

Be patient with people. Listen twice as hard (since you have two ears) than you speak (you only have one mouth). Even is the person seems to be running around in circles or telling you a story (even if you had heard it before) give them a benefit of a doubt. Be patient. The other person thought you important enough to share something with so honor them and allow them to talk. Listen and wait before you react or ask questions. More often than not you will find out the answers to any questions you might have without even asking if you just listen. Listen, reflect, pause and appreciate what others are saying. It's amazing just how much doing this will transform a person and help make them a increasingly stronger person. It will take a shy person and unsure person and will give them much more confidence. And most certainly will build their self esteem.




I do get frustrated sometimes when I am cut off quite rudely or constantly interrupted, even by those closest to you. It does make feel unimportant like what I say is not worth listening to. The trust keeps lessening every time. Why share things if you are only going to get zapped and hurt or ignored? I cannot do that. I have a voice and it must be heard. The other option is this: Do I become hurt so much that I become immune and unfeeling, a stone? That is not right either because I am a person of deep and intense feelings. So you see I am at an impasse.

I realize my own personal failings when it comes to communicating. I am doing my best to change those things and that process will be forever progressing. Lasting change does not necessary happen overnight. I am a totally different than I was in high school. I was so quiet and sky (I was voted most quietest in my senior class after all) and I really did not talk to people that I did not know. I also hardly ever reveal things about myself.

I really did not mean to ramble on and on today. But there you go.

Waves in fields of soybeans...

The car ride was getting kind of dull.  My husband was not being very communicative- all my questions  or topics were being answer with yes or no or a nod of the head in typical guy fashion. I had to talk in order not to  fall asleep for the 6 hour drive back to Chicago from Kentucky. It was out 3 year anniversary getaway.  Eventually I gave up. I was getting nowhere. Silence is better in this case. I tried to keep myself busy with some crocheting I brought with me and games on my phone or looking out the window to avoid falling asleep.Eventually I did fall asleep for maybe 90 min tops at different times. I just can't help it. If I am in the car for longer than 45 min i fall asleep perhaps because of the  gentle rocking of the car. 

On the way home I noticed  all the different crops in Kentucky and Indiana. Most of the corn fields seemed dry and in desperate need of water and on their last leg. There was even some tobacco fields that looked a little sad, at least they did in my estimation. But for some reason the fields of soybeans seemed to be doing wonderfully well. No discoloration or wilted look to them. They were green and thriving. 

But it was not the state of their health that caught my eye. It was the wind blowing through the plants. It seriously looked like gentle calming green waves on a lake or ocean. It was rather remarkable and beautiful. I'd never seen anything like it.  The line in America the Beautiful comes to mind- "amber waves of grain." Only this case it was green not amber colored. As my weary eyes rested on the site for a brief moment I thanked God for allowing me to see it. Perhaps it was God's way of easing the turbulent thoughts that were running through my head just then and giving me the comfort I needed.

Made something today.

I feel like I accomplished something today. I made a baby dress to sell and  posted it on my etsy.com account. My etsy store web address is http://www.etsy.com/shop/kindlscorner   I sell quilts, baby and other gift items. Reasonable prices. Here's a picture of it.

sleep calls but duty wins

I don't know where all my energy has gone to. I just can't seem to get myself going today. It has taken just about everything I had to move all the laundry downstairs to be washed tomorrow.  My back is kind of achy too and my throat is still a little sore.  All i know is that I really want to take a nap but dinner preparation is calling in less than 30 min.

Sunday Shadows

     It is Sunday and at the moment it is calm and peaceful in the house which is a rarity at times. I only hear only the hum of the bedroom fan, and the cicadas, the birds chirping and the neighbor mowing his yard. It's is a beautiful day- the sun being warm and the air  cool. My kind of day. Makes me want to get out of the city and go camping. It's good sleeping weather my dad would say.

     My husband and I were sitting in the kitchen eating our BLTs  for lunch  (which I might add were delicious) and I noticed from the spot where I was sitting that a bird was perch on the electrical wire going into the house. Now I could not  see bird only it's shadow that cast upon the kitchen wall. I sat there watching it, the shadow of the bird a moment or two before it flew. I could tell it was a finch of some sort  just buy its movements and size. Sure enough when I got up to investigate, it was a female purple finch.

        As you can see there is more to the picture than just a distorted image of the shadow. So much more. Behind that shadow was a real live living thing, one of God's magnificent creations. How often to we see people, really see people. Do we just recognize their existence (the shadow) but yet move on not caring to  investigate and really find out  who and what they really are. Things get in the way such as impatience, time, prejudice, intellect, pride, business of life, laziness, or just plain stubbornness. These people  the shadow dwellers are important too and  are worth knowing.  I should know. I am one of those shadow dwellers. 

      I am, we all are one of God's wonderful creations, created in his image and worth getting to know.  Sure it's going to take time and probably a lot of patience because they might not be as quick as you are or do things the same way  but believe me in the end, you will be all the better for it. So go talk and get to know someone you haven't talked to or seen in a really long time. And remember to listen twice as hard as you talk.


( The picture here is of a Robin in a tree, but it kind of reminded me of this story)

A new beginning

I think at times I have buried within me a writer's heart. Maybe it comes from generally being a quiet person. As such I see and observe little things every day that interest me and think that would make a great story and is just begging to be told.   Maybe its a part of having an artistic eye too.  Writing also helps me sort out a jumble of thoughts and feelings that otherwise would stay just that: a jumble.

I'm new at this whole blogging thing so please bare with me as I begin this journey and see what the Lord has in store. May you be laugh, cry, rejoice, ponder, and wonder anew with me. And may you lives and hearts be uplifted and encouraged.

God bless you all and good night.